Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes


"At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries
page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual."
-- Patrick Moore.

"First you forget names, then you forget faces. NEXT you forget to pull your zipper
up and finally, you forget to pull it down."
-- George Burns.

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
-- Woody Allen.

"Either he's dead or my watch has stopped."
-- Groucho Marx.

"To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like
-- Oscar Wilde.

"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through
not dying."
-- Woody Allen.

"So my choice is 'Or Death?'."
-- Eddie Izzard.

"A man's only as old as the woman he feels."
-- Groucho Marx.

"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls
taper off."
-- Johnny Carson.

"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my
skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her
head to the tag on her toes."
-- Emo Philips.