Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes


"I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They
don't know I'm firing blanks."
-- Emo Philips.

"Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat
and fun to cheat."
-- Fran Lebowitz.

"I understand the importance of bondage between parent and child."
-- Dan Quayle.

"Until I was thirteen I thought my name was 'Shutup'."
-- Joe Namath.

"I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys
not included."
-- Bernard Manning.

"Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet."
-- Bill Cosby.

"Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them
and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'."
-- Steven Wright.

"I was the kid NEXT door's imaginary friend."
-- Emo Philips.

"There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: Twins."
-- Josh Billings.

"I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it."
-- Groucho Marx.