Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes


"Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add."
-- Fran Lebowitz.

"Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your head."
-- Martin Mull.

"Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is
take a bath."
-- Richard Zera.

"The real menace about dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin
to sound like a five-year-old."
-- Jean Kerr.

"My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts
to grow."
-- Bill Cosby.

"No wonder people are so horrible when they start life as children."
-- Kingsley Amis.

"There are only two things a child will share willingly; communicable diseases and its
mother's age."
-- Benjamin Spock.

"My unhealthy affection for my second daughter has waned. Now I despise all my
seven children equally."
-- Evelyn Waugh.

"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I
used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go
back to sleep.'."
-- Joan Rivers.

"The baby is fine, the only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson."
-- Woody Allen.