Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes


"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to
have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by
how much he'd learned in seven years."
-- Mark Twain.

"Whenever you find you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
-- Mark Twain [Samuel Langhornne Clemens] (1835-1910)

"The child was a keen bed-wetter."
-- Noel Coward.

"I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me."
-- Rodney Dangerfield.

"My parents used to beat the shit out of me. And, looking back on it, I'm glad they
did. I'm looking forward to beating the shit out of my own kids, for no reason
-- Denis Leary.

"When you're eight years old nothing is your business."
-- Lenny Bruce.

"In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television."
-- Erma Bombeck.

"Never underestimate a child's ability to get into more trouble."
-- Martin Mull.

"I never met a kid I liked."
-- WC Fields.

"I have a stepladder. It's a very nice stepladder but it's sad that I never knew my real
-- Craig Charles.

"Children nowadays are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food and
tyrannise their teachers."
-- Socrates.