Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes


"I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded, dead."
-- Woody Allen.

"I like children - fried."
-- WC Fields.

"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our
grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
-- Jim Carrey.

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in
the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between
the two but can't remember what they are."
-- Matt Lauer (on NBC's Today Show).

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what
happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
-- Steven Wright.

"Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid ninety-six dollars
and I'm still hungry."
-- Mike Kalin.

"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favourite food is seconds."
-- Joan Rivers.

"A winkle is just a bogey with a crash helmet on."
-- Mick Miller.

"I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup."
-- Eddie Izzard.

"I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French
Toast during the Renaissance."
-- Steven Wright.