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Advice

Count your age with friends but not with years.

-- Anonymous

Don't anthropomorphize computers -- they hate it.

-- Anonymous

Don't trust anyone over 30 who used to say "Don't trust anyone over 30."

-- Anonymous

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says "For the woman I love" and the second, "For my best friend."

-- Anonymous

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

-- Anonymous

Never practice two vices at once.

-- Tallulah Bankhead

Never moon a werewolf.

-- Mike Binder

Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think.

-- Niels Bohr

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

-- Erma Bombeck

Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.

-- Jacob Braude

If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it.

-- H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Life's Little Treasure Book, on wisdom

Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others.

-- H. Jackson Brown

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