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Sarcasm

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

-- Ashleigh Brilliant

It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.

-- Paul Newman

It's a catastrophic success.

I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.

-- Stephen Bishop

History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.

-- Abba Eban

No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

-- Groucho Marx

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

-- Frank Zappa

The 100% American is 99% idiot.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the power of speech.

-- George Bernard Shaw

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

-- Oscar Wilde

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

-- Victor Borge

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

-- Mark Twain

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