Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes


Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package

They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the House Bank scandal

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President

If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada

I'll moider da bum.
-- Tony Galento, heavyweight boxer, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare

Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman

It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were sleeping on the job

Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take.
-- Kathy Ireland, star of 'Alien From L.A.' and 'Danger Island'

Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that we're able to- to share the time and the relationship that we- that we do share.
-- Edward Kennedy, U.S. Senator, during a 4 November 1979 interview with Roger Mudd trying to answer the question "What is the present state of your marriage?"

I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
-- Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest