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If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee.

-- Anonymous

UGLINESS, n. A gift of the gods to certain women, entailing virtue without humility.

-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little pot belly and a bald spot.

-- Elayne Boosler

If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.

-- Beau Brummel

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo.

-- Al Gore, U.S. Vice President

To the ass, or the sow, their own offspring appears the fairest in creation.

-- Latin Proverb

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

-- Abraham Lincoln

There is no one so bound to his own face that he does not cherish the hope of presenting another to the world.

-- Antonio Machado

There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.

-- Nelson Mandela, A Long Walk to Freedom

In every man's heart there is a secret nerve that answers to the vibrations of beauty.

-- Christopher Morley

The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.

-- P. J. O'Rourke

You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.

-- Dolly Parton

I base my fashion sense on what doesn't itch.

-- Gilda Radner

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