Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes
- Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.
- Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.
- -- Steve Bluestone
- I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.... This is an ex-parrot.
- -- John Cleese, Monty Python, British comedy television show
- I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul.
- -- Jean Cocteau
- ... I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a greater control over myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long periods of time.
- What if it was cats who invented technology... would they have tv shows starring rubber sqeak toys?
- -- Douglas Coupland
- In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats.
- I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.
- -- George Bird Evans
- When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the 2 will hover, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.
- -- John Frazee
- When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
- -- Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
- Women and Cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it.
- -- Robert Heinlein, Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long
- Love to eat them mousies
Mousie's what I love to eat.
Bite they little heads off
Nibble on they tiny feet.
- -- B. Kliban
- What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
- -- Abraham Lincoln
- It's true that I did get the girl, but then my grandfather always said, "Even a blind chicken finds a few grains of corn now and then."
- -- Lyle Lovett, musician, upon marying actress Julia Roberts, 1994
- Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside a dog, it's too dark to read.
- -- Groucho Marx