Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes


"All I need to make comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl."
-- Charlie Chaplin.

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
-- George Gobal.

"I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written
in our contract."
-- Groucho Marx.

"Sarah Brightman couldn't act scared on the New York subway at 4 o'clock in the
-- Joel Segal.

"I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit."
-- Mel Brooks.

"Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory."
-- Joan Rivers.

"Julie Andrews has lilacs instead of pubic hairs."
-- Christopher Plummer.

"We don't want the television script good. We want it Tuesday."
-- Dennis Norden.

"I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host."
-- David Letterman.

"After The Wizard Of Oz I was typecast as a lion, and there aren't all that many parts
for lions."
-- Bert Lahr.