Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes
- I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- -- Lewis Grizzard
- Marriage is a great institution, but who wants to live in an institution?
- -- Marx Groucho, the film "Animal Crackers"
- If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
- -- Katharine Hepburn
- Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
- -- Oliver Herford
- Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
- -- John Heywood
- It is amazing at how small a price may the wedding ring be placed upon a worthless hand; but, by the beauty of our law, what heaps of gold are indispensable to take it off!
- -- Douglas Jerold, 1858
- Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
- -- Samuel Johnson
- I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
- -- Sam Kinison
- Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
- -- F. M. Knowles
- Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
- -- Stephen Leacock
- I have come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying, and for this reason, I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me.
- -- Abraham Lincoln, in a letter to Mrs. O.H. Browning, April 1, 1838
- I belong to Bridegrooms Anonymous. Whenever I feel like getting married, they send over a lady in a housecoat and hair curlers to burn my toast for me.
- -- Dick Martin
- I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- -- Groucho Marx
- Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
- -- Groucho Marx