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Marriage (Negative)

Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
-- Baskins

The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
-- Ambrose Bierce

MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
-- Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary, 1911

In the blithe days of honeymoon,
With Kate's allurements smitten,
I lov'd her late, I lov'd her soon,
And call'd her dearest kitten.
But now my kitten's grown a cat,
And cross like other wives.
O! By my soul my honest Mat,
I fear she has nine lives.
-- James Boswell, Life of Johnson

Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back.
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

Nothing says lovin' like marrying your cousin!
-- Al Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

I hate work. That's why I got married.
-- Peg Bundy, character on "Married with Children," U.S. television show

In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
-- Samuel Butler

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
-- Johnny Carson

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry.
-- Chekhov

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
-- G. K. Chesterton

The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
-- S. T. Coleridge

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest.
-- Irwin Corey