Just cut and paste the authors name to find the rest of that persons quotes
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what
happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice
says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.' "
"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people
make up 75 percent of the population."
"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our
grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."
"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs
spend their lives."
-- Sue Murphy.
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image
there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't
your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the